


A Bad Idea Branded In My Brain

by TheConsultingAlex



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: M/M, Post-Hiatus, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-13 23:30:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4541595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheConsultingAlex/pseuds/TheConsultingAlex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was a secret that Andy had never told Pete. But Andy slips up in an interview. What will Pete think?</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Bad Idea Branded In My Brain

**Author's Note:**

> This alternates between both Andy and Pete's points of view. Changes are written in bold
> 
> Based around this interview- http://sunshinedontcare.tumblr.com/post/71797735627/i-heard-many-fans-talking-about-how-they-wanted-to

_“A single breath in empty lungs. All I’ve got left. Gasping for air. And a bad idea branded in my brain I can’t seem to shake” - Can’t Save Myself by As It Is_

 

**{Andy’s POV}**

One little interview. That’s all it was. But I messed up. I mentioned what happened during the hiatus. Pete was never supposed to know. He wasn’t supposed to worry about me.  
“It was really hard and I was really depressed. I wanted to kill myself” I told the interviewer “That first Christmas was the worst. I mean, I own a lot of guns, so it wouldn’t be hard”  
Once I realised what I’d said, it was too late. Pete had already heard. He looked over at me and I saw a mix of sadness and shock in his eyes.  
“That’s crazy,I didn’t know that…” Pete said quietly to me. He placed his hand gently on my leg and I looked him in the eye as he said “Don’t do it! I’m glad you didn’t”  
I couldn’t focus for the rest of the interview, and it didn’t seem like Pete could either. I just gave answers that I didn’t think through and kept nodding whenever Pete spoke.  
  
 **{Pete’s POV}**  
When I heard Andy say that he had been suicidal I really didn’t know what to say. He’d never said anything about it to me or any of the other guys. He was probably just trying to keep up his ‘tough guy’ image. The words ‘I wanted to kill myself’ hit me like a tonne of bricks. I’d been in that same situation, I knew how it felt to want to die. I tried to comfort him, but I struggled to get the words out.  
For the rest of the interview, Andy seemed quite out of it, giving half-hearted answers to any questions we were asked. I had to do most of the talking, but I just wanted the interview to end so I could talk to Andy about what he’d said.  
The interview seemed to drag on for hours, but when it ended, Andy and I walked out of the room and I stood in front of him and just looked at him, struggling to think of what to say. The fact that he wouldn’t look me in the eyes made it even harder. “Andy…” I said “What you said in there...was that true?”. He remained silent. “Andy. Tell me” I said “Was it true?”  
“Yes” Andy murmured.   
“Listen, you could have spoke to me. I could’ve helped” I said.  
“Yeah, but...I didn’t want to bother you with my problems” Andy replied “You had enough problems of your own, I didn’t want to add mine to the pile”  
“Then why didn’t you speak to Patrick or Joe? They could have helped you too” I told him.  
“I didn’t want to ruin how happy they seemed” Andy said “They were both doing so well. Patrick was doing great with his solo music. And whenever I saw Joe at recordings or rehearsals for The Damned Things...I just couldn’t bring his mood down. He seemed so happy”  
  
  
 **{Andy’s POV}**  
I told Pete the truth about why I hadn’t spoke about my problems. Well,part of the truth. I never lied... but I didn’t give every detail,either. Because there was another reason I hadn’t said anything...I didn’t want to seem weak. It felt stupid wanting to kill myself, and I thought that they’d just think that I was a wimp or an idiot.  
“Well, Andy” Pete said “If you ever need anyone to talk to,I’m here”. He pulled me into a hug and I hugged him back. “I know how it feels, I’ve been there, I can help” he said.  
“Thank you,Pete” I said into his shoulder, pulling him in tighter “Thank you”

 

 


End file.
